Now or never !

Its 18th of may 2007 today

1st mock CAT - less than 2 months from today

Havent even started with Maths..or anything of significance ..for that matter

Dont ask why..I have loads of "excuses"

Still dream of IIMs

"Bah!"..you would say..

But now..a promise to myself..

Have to get there..just no other option

Time is running out..

Opportunity slipping out of my hand..

A face in the crowd or someone people look upto..

'Thane-dadar' all my life or that terrace flat at SP I always dreamt of..

A decision-follower or a decision-maker..

to watch a dream being fulfilled or sigh saying "may be I wasnt cut out for that"

The choice is for me to make.

Even tougher is to believe in myself n sticking to the desicion

The way I see it..Its not gonna be a cakewalk!

But man!! would be worth all those efforts!!

A fight now or one all my life??

Neways..got to go..have dreams to fulfill :)

Its one of those days today.....you know the ones...when you think every thing is gonna be jus alright!!

You watch a crappy movie with your once-broken-up group of friends...embittered relations dont seem so bitter today....a feeling of hope creeps in and makes your heart feel lighter..aakhir umeed pe duniya kayam hai!!lolzz..

A school friend scraps something really, really silly..so silly that it makes u laugh so hard that u actually fall off from the chair!!(yes that happened!)

A dear friend suggested scrapping instead of chatting...we end up writing really silly stuff for the entire world to see..wat d heck!! even that was fun!!

A friend who had stopped talking, buzzed (after many months!) and small though it may seem..we did converse.

Aah...rare are such days in my life these days...the ones which leave a smile on your face without a hint of doubt...give you a feeling of being truly blessed!
Just one thing to say, " I am stuck like dope, on this thing called hope!!"

Edit :
Whoa!! it turned even better....trek friend called up and ordered to be there for the kalsubai trek (aye nalayak, mukatyane ye kalla naa!!...were the inviting words)

Muah..in love with my world :))

The randomness of my life just doesnt cease..I do things I dont know what for. really arbit things excite me when i need to be really studying hard for my exams which loom large only a few days ahead...Exams..the test of our knowledge..or is it??
I mean..just right now..I am reading some random blogs of people I dont even know and even more random posts on PG when i havnt even started with my CAT prep...all this while my head n hair stinks of an obnoxious concoction of curds, coconut oil and lemon juice....why??? well, lets just say my mom had loads of free time at hand and I, being her first-born, happen to be her favourite guniea pig!!

Watched Babasaheb Purandare's "Jaanta Raja" yesterday at Shivaji park. And yes, the Queen's language would fail to do any justice to this topic..so lemme start in my mother-tongue.
Kaal "Jaanta Raja"chya shubharambhacha prayog baghitla...pan "baghne" ha shabd ithe faar chukicha vaatto...toh ek experience hota...ek asa anubhav jo pratyekane ekda tari anubhavava..
te baghtanna..manaat ek chaos hota...thakk karun sodnaara ek chitran hota te..pan tyahunhi vichaar karayla laavnare anek prashna hote tyat!!

Shivaji maharaj he maharashtracha daivat....tyancha abhimaan pratyek marathi mansala aahe (ho, high-lighted kes ani kaanat dul ghalnarya marathi mulala dekhil!!) Pan maharashtra la swarajya ani surajya milvun denyaat eka stree cha sinvhacha vaata aahe...

Jar Jijabainni swarajyachi swapna pahilich nasti tar??
Adilshah chya darbari ruzu aslelya aaplya kartabgaar pati che 'sardar' asnyaatch tyanni dhanyata maanli asti tar??
Shivba var jar tyanche sanskaar naste tar kharach pudhe jaun Shivaji maharaj....neetivant, kulvant, varadvant, samarthyavant zale aste??

Aaj jya maharashtrat aapan svattahachi janmabhoomi samjun rahtoy..tee aapli rahili asti? maharashtra ek hindu rajya rahila asta?? ki adilshahi, nizamshahi kinva delhi chya mogulanchi jahagir zali asti...ekhadi Islamic state?? aani kaal jya maidanat "Jaanta Raja"cha prayog pahila..jithe majha balpan gela, tya jagecha naav Shivaji Park asta??

Pan apan kharach 'nalayak' tharlo...Shivaji rajanchi aathvan varshatun ekda kaadhto..te hi janma tithi var vaad ghalayla....sarkari sutti milte mhanun..nasti tar tehi kela nasta.(Shanivar-ravivar la jodun yeil toh divas tharavatat..ka tar.."soy" mhanun). Shivaji raje aata fakt "soy" mhanun rahilet ka??
Pu La jase 'Hari tatya' madhye mahanale hote....aaj-kal chya modern kutumbaat..10 divsanchya ganpaticha lodging-boarding parvadat naslyamule toh 1 1/2 divsaanvar aanlay..te tari ka tar..mulanvar changle sanskaar na ghadlyacha aal yeu naye mhanun. Rahile fakt upkara karita...saarkhach aata..rahile fakt soyee purta!!

Orkut chi katkat!!

Orkut zalay jaam addictive, savay tyachi sutat nahi,
Pan scrapping kartanna kuthetari, sanwaad saadhna rahun gela...

Mitranna "testimonials" lihilya anek,
Pan aai-babanna "love you" mhanaycha rahun gela...

"Buzz" marlyavar mitrane, "hi" mazha tayar ase,
Pan damlelya babanna paani dyaycha rahun gela...

Bhaubeej yanda "scraps" madhunach, tasech diwali-dasara,
Samor basvun, mothya bhavala owalna rahun gela...

Mahinyatun ekda "wassup??" cha scrap, tari mhane amhi, "In touch"!!
SP chya kattyavar, fad jamvun, "gazalya" marna rahun gela...

Chaar bhintit adkavun svattahala, guntle me svattaha madhye,
Ya jeevanatach guntle itke, jagaycha rahun gela...

Look ma, one more crappy poem.

Okay!! Wrote this about two months back...but frankly speaking, I am ashamed of it. Even thought of disowning this baby of mine..but then, "What the heck!!", good or bad, it DID come out of me..err my mind. It is supposed to be a poem but turns prose-ish towards the end..even the rhyme scheme goes for a toss then and it does end quite abruptly too. So, the question is why should you read it in the first place??? Hmm............ah, well....ahem...why dont u just read the damn thing????? So, here's presenting the saddest one by far..

"These are a few of my favourite things" (Yeah, yeah...even the title is dhapoed)

An idle Sunday,
A shiny May day.
Showers in June,
Cool winds over hot sand dunes.

A hike to a hill-top,
Sweaty n tired, till ready to drop.
Forts and ruins, the forgotten history,
Wonder n amaze at the surreal mystery.

Dozens of cutting coffees, all shared,
Munna's bread pakodas too, not spared.
Debates n discussions in a lively din,
Some succeeding, some going straight to the bin.

Three in an umbrella, pushing each other out,
Late night calls with exam fever n doubts.
Last paper relief, the high n joy !
Cheap matinee movies with friends, Oh boy !!

For boring lectures, sedation - the antidote,
Writing crappy poems, when others take down notes.

You still reading???? God!! you are more jobless than i ever thought ;)).......may He save you!

Ok guys!! You can stop sending out those obituaries… I am still alive, just suffering from selective amnesia where I keep forgetting I have a blog and I am supposed to update it every once in a while. God!! I go missing for a few days and people get all panicky...blogging isn’t the only thing I do...I am quite a busy bee you know….I know, I know this blog is like a lifeline for you…the only ray of hope in your otherwise dark, dull and wretched lives...but the next time I go missing, please don’t bother me with phone calls n orkut scraps...just go n ask Oprah!! Phew… What a thankless job this is!!
Hehehe...who am I kidding?? Apart from a few loyal friends (3 to be precise), nobody bothers to read this crap of mine and me busy?? Yeah right...warming the chair infront of my pc, for so long...that it will soon burn in a hole and I will fall through. But yeah ...blogging makes me feel good and about someone reading it or not?? As if I care…(actually I do, hence I blog.....wow..so much for my self-esteem!)
Ok,here’s a poem I wrote at 2 at night…God knows why I can’t think straight the whole day and suddenly get this so-called 'creative inspiration' at unearthly hours!!

A tear peeping from the gates of her eyes,
A smiling face with emotions it belies.
A hand that shivers as it touches the screen,
A bond so strong by forces unseen.

It began with an email, on a shiny morn,
With photos of her grandchild, newly born.
She yearned to hold him, hug him tight,
Gush over him without respite.

His tiny feet in her wrinkled hands,
but he was far away in a foreign land.
A land of dreams, they say, it was,
Young sons from old mothers, it draws.
It fulfills the dreams, of all those who mattered,
But the day her son left, hers were shattered.

Reduced to a spectator in their lives, was she now,
She wondered when this happened, why and how.
She longed for their sight, sound n touch.
Emails, calls n money transfers didn’t serve much.

Will I ever see my blood again, she wondered.
Or live this lonely life just longing, she pondered.
May be my life wasn’t worth a visit here.
She wondered atleast if her death would be luckier.

Blessing that newborn, with all the love n care.
She walked away, with clouded vision that could no longer stare.

Ziddi hum bhi yahan....

Years of rigid mentalities, deep-rooted mindsets and the stubborness of never to change.
I refuse to accept them. I refuse to follow the old, foolproof , oft-trodden way. Refuse to submit myself to this system wherein others decide my fate. Whatever happened to "you are the maker of your own destiny ?" And what exactly is destiny?? An already-laid-down map which we have to follow or something that we build along the way because of the choices that we make?
Submission to their decisions....thats what they wish for.."accept it mutely and follow without even raising an eyebrow. Do we see your mouth opening to complain?..shut it then n there"
Nah!! Not anymore..How many voices will they kill? Their muffled sounds would still make a noise!

I will do it because I can.
I can because I want to.
I want to because you said I couldn't.

Even if everyone says you dont stand a chance, don't give up on your dreams...'coz courage isn't in doing something when you know you will win, but doing it inspite of knowing you may lose!!